Tully Smyth is known for her honesty, charisma and ability to be unapologetically herself – which are just a few of the many things we love about her and her new podcast Too Much Tully. It’s also why we are super excited Tully has shared a few of her favourite reads with us.
I am ... a lover
Book: Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller
When I say this book has been a life-changer, please know I’m not exaggerating. It was recommended to me a few years back by a dear girlfriend who thought I might find it useful during what was a particularly gut-wrenching breakup, one of those ones where you swear you’ll never recover. It was eye-opening, to say the least!
The author describes how attachment theory can be applied to romantic relationships. There are three types of attachment: secure, anxious, and avoidant. (Ten guesses what category I fall into…)
Don’t worry though, this is a safe space and the book never makes you feel shitty for your attachment style, rather they help you gain a better understanding of yourself whilst lovingly guiding you towards a healthier, more fulfilling approach. It’s like having a psychologist and matchmaker in your hot little hands!
The book provides a lot of examples and checklists and inventories so that you can figure out what's going on in your relationship, how you might be exacerbating the problems, and give suggestions about how you could respond instead. If you’re a single gal like myself who feels like they’re stuck in Groundhog Day when it comes to their love life, add this bad boy to your cart. Thank me later.
I am ... doing the work
Book: First, We Make The Beast Beautiful by Sarah Wilson
I grabbed this book by best-selling author (I Quit Sugar), entrepreneur and Aussie icon Sarah Wilson on a whim at the airport one day. I had read a small review on it in a magazine and knew it was about Sarah’s own journey accepting, managing and then even appreciating her anxiety - something I have struggled with since I was a very little girl.
There was a line early on where Sarah describes her own anxiety as a little girl and how it felt a bit like “holding a hot potato and not knowing what to do with it” and it hit such a nerve with me that I was in tears on the plane.
I felt seen and understood. It was a relief, to be frank. I wasn’t alone and I wasn’t crazy. In short, this book is someone grappling with the heartbreaking, lonely, always-difficult daily and lifelong reality of anxiety. Someone fully upfront about the bullshit, the inconsistencies, the lack of logic, the awfulness, but fronting up and doing the work. It’s both spiritual and science-based, but it’s not for everybody.
I’ve since recommended this to other friends who struggle with anxiety and some found it triggering whilst others found it too conversational or “woo woo”. I personally found it very helpful and have often referred back to it over the years. Maybe just don’t read it in public...
I am ... lonely
Book: A Lonely Girl Is A Dangerous Thing by Jessie Tu
This is one of those books that you suddenly see popping up on your social media feed, being recommended at Dymocks or talked about on your favourite podcast. I hate being left behind so naturally, I grabbed it. I didn’t know what I was expecting but to see the “C” bomb dropped on the very first page, I knew I’d probably enjoy it.
Jena Chung was once a violin-playing child prodigy but now finds herself addicted to sex. She’s been told she’s a washed-up, has-been at the ripe old age of 22 and I think I maybe related to the feeling of being a disappointment in some weird way. After coming off Big Brother in 2013 as a 25-year-old, it felt like I might have peaked and it was all downhill from there.
End of the day, it’s a story about loneliness and emptiness, something I think we’ve all struggled with at least once in our lives. For me personally, this was in isolation and lockdown this year. It was an easy read, out in the sun with an Aperol however, WARNING: if you have an aversion to copious, graphic depictions of sexual activity, this one might not be for you. Personally, I’m here for it.
Tully’s podcast, Too Much Tully, covers her experiences with dating, sex and relationships, through to mental health and grief – nothing is off limits. She addresses the questions you want to know, no matter how horny, personal or controversial. Can there ever be too much of anything? Tully doesn’t think so. Check out her podcast here.